The First And Last Date

We want our first date to be a memorable one, but sometimes we also have ones that are memorable, but not in a good sense.

I remember years ago that I went on a date with the man to a cute bistro in the Manhattan’s West Village. He was cute, educated, had a great body, and had a great job. After we arrived at the restaurant, I saw him sitting by the window. He looked incredible. As I sat down at the table, I recall him looking at me for a minute then turning his attention to the screaming people that were outside in the street. I thought, “Jeez, do I look terrible or something?”

A few minutes after, the waiter came to the table asking if we were interested in ordering a bottle of wine. I took Jim’s* hand and asked him if he was interested in ordering a bottle of white or red. He hesitated, looked at me, looked at the waiter, and responded, “I am not ready for this. I just broke up with Carrie* (his ex fiancée) last week. I am sorry.” Then he got up, picked up his jacket, and walked out of the restaurant. The waiter looked at me smiled and said, “Ma’am, would you like something to drink?” I looked at him and said, “No thank you. I will be leaving too.” I was mortified.

Dating can be hell.

We all have first date stories; some are funny, some are scary, while others are plain pathetic, like mine. During the actual time of the date, it is humiliating and embarrassing and your own thoughts are “How did I get myself into this mess?”

I am not an advocate of lying, but in this case, it is ok. If you are stuck in a boring or horribly dull situation, use the tool that we are forbidden to use in any other situation. Say you are not feeling well. Tell him you have a headache and that you are sensitive to light. Let him know that it was nice meeting him, but you want to go home.

Now, if he is unattractive, try to stick out the date. If he is short, fat, or bald, don’t hold it against him. Don’t be so damn shallow! Give him the benefit of the doubt. You never know, he might end up your best friend. Just give the guy a chance.

I know that dating is a hardship especially if you are only interested in getting married. Trying to select the proper mate for you is a daunting task. High school and college sweethearts are the ones that are lucky. They are not the ones that have to go through dating torture, but those couples are also missing out on the fun and excitement of dating other people as well.

Second story is not fictional:

Here is a personal example of a horrendous date:

·I met this guy at a nightclub. He was really cute, the quintessential pretty boy. He seemed really sweet and down to earth, too. One afternoon he came to where I live for a lunch date, which was one hour from where he lived. During the date, the conversation was terrible. He said repeatedly, “Oh well! What can you do?” Then he continuously talked about how he dated a woman that was ten years older than he. He told me he missed her and that he wanted to see her. After the bill came, he told me he had nine dollars in his pocket and that he expected me to pay the bill. I looked at him and asked, “You came without any money? If you didn’t have any cash, why didn’t you tell me before?” He said, “Well, I wanted to see you and I figured you would take me to lunch.” Then after he asked me for money for gas and cigarettes so he could get back home. After, he told me that he wanted to see me again and that he thought that we should date exclusively. It was not the fact that didn’t have any money, but it was more of the fact that he expected me to pay right off the bat. I thought that was really crass.

Kristin Marquet is the author of "How Can a Woman Survive Dating in a World Full of Players, Losers, Liars, Scumbags, and Mama’s Boys? A Single Women’s Guide to Online Dating in a World full of…" and and "The Ultimate Women’s Guide to Modern Dating." http://www.loverelationshipsandmore.com