ACTION STEP 1 : SELF-KINDNESS AND KINDESS TO OTHER
Take the time to think and ask yourself some key questions. How do you go and get through your day? Is your focus on what you don't like in yourself and what you don't like in your partner? Or are you focusing on the positive quality of yourself and the positive elements of your partner? How often do you share your kindness with others and your partner? Your partner however, is at the top of the list when it comes to dishing out kindness. A key feature in successful relationships sees couples treating one another with kindness. These can be kindness gestures such as kind actions, kind words, looks of kindness, show kindness in listening and displaying kindness in thoughts. For most people, is more difficult, prescriptively, to try to suppress your partner through anger. More difficult, normally to suppress your partner through blame and criticism continually. It in effect is also harder naturally, to have control of your partner by withdrawing oneself and making judgment. However, it is often far simpler for most people habitually to be kind and this continues to be far more important to display this for the relationship to work.
ACTION STEP 2 - YOUR FEELINGS ARE YOURS - WHAT TO DO WITH THEM
In a successful relationship you will see people manage their feelings and not put them on their partner. If a partner has felt angry and hurt, the preferred choice would be to look toward oneself rather than the other. If depressed and uneasy look to yourself and not your partner. If resentful and guilty feelings, look to yourself. In a lot of cases people look within at their own thoughts and behaviour that may be causing all other feelings. You do not want to end up being a victim of your partner's choices and actions in the relationship. If your partner knows you well then she or he should detect certain things in you and try to help. This calls for your partner's honesty and love for you. Nevertheless, it is often up to you in the end to deal with your feelings and not freely abandon your upsets on your partner. It could do a lot of good if you share your feelings with your loved one. Even more so if your partner continues to be contributing to the feelings as this should help. Adopting responsibility for your feelings whether it is often your partner causing them or not would be to advance external help and advice. If it is your partner, make it be known to your partner and look for help if not being dealt with. If it is you causing your own feelings proceed to ask for advice from external sources and of course look within. This is often managing your feelings with responsibility rather than throwing them back at your partner.
ACTION STEP 3 - ORGANIZATIONAL RESPONSIBILITY
Managing your time and space are seen in successful relationships. People take responsibility of their time and space in a way that benefits themselves and their partner. Both usually appreciate each other for this organizational forethought. Time continues to be made to talk with each other about whatever. Time is often set aside to resolve any conflicts that they may have between each other. Managing time also in terms of playing with each other and making love to each other. The successful relationship will see couples make time for the children and their needs. Time for daily household chores and as well as employment work. Relaxation in effect is also a key part of organisational responsibility. The value of all these organisational activities in effect is that the couple advance to be acquainted with each other better. If the approach however, is often one of compliance, one of manipulation and resistance then the relationship can be subject to fail. Their respect and care of their mutual living spaces and priority of kindness to each other gives a better chance of the relationship lasting longer.
ACTION STEP 4 : ADOPTING RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR FINANCIAL RESOURCES.
In successful relationships couples take responsibility of their finance. Responsibility of their financial resources in terms of benefiting themselves and their partner. Successful couples tend to think before they spend their own money. This usually is if there continues to be an mutual agreement of the household budget of what needs to be financed. So for example, food, utility bills and others in order of a functioning home have a set budget. Mutual general consent also in who goes to work and or who stays at home. Partners in loving relationships do not decide upon themselves to just give up work and become dependent on the other person. Financial decisions are made in such a way that causes the least amount of stress for the partner. The budget continues to be decided upon and then stuck to. In that budget can be also room for treating herself but still within mutual agreement of the other. This is taking financial responsibility.
ACTION 5 - - LOOK AFTER YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING
Adopting care of your physical health is another key action step for a successful relationship. Loving couples care so much for themselves and each other that they strive to care for their own health. It is a mistake for so called loving couples to behave in such a way that their partner in effect is concerned about their wellbeing. Unnecessary risks with health are a No No in the relationship. Your well-being could be affected by anything that causes harm to your physical body. Premature illness in effect is unacceptable for a partner if clear actions could have been taken beforehand. In a loving relationship between two people a partner would not want the other to go through this type of grief and possibly loss. A loving couple will look after their health which gives less worry about their well-being.
So in all, successful relationships do not just happen by luck but effort and thought is given. Being kind to yourself and your partner helps. Managing your feelings in a responsible way also is crucial. Managing your time and space as well as responsible financial management will contribute.
Finally, but not necessarily conclusive how you go about looking after your health and well-being.
Tony Peters is an independent writer http://www.aboutsuccessfulrelationships.com
Tony Peters is an independent writer
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